I’ve always hidden my attraction to smoking women. But now that’s going to change, and I don’t know how to handle it.
When I first started developing my attraction to women who smoke I didn’t know what to do. It was freaked out by it.
It felt wrong.
And yet day after day I was lusting after smokers I saw standing in their own smoky worlds at bus stops, and across the haze of a restaurant smoking sections (remember those?!).
When I was at school I would stand outside the school gates after class and watch as girl after girl tentatively got their cigarettes out of their bags and lit up some of their first cigarettes, thinking to myself that those first cigarettes would certainly not be their last.
It has made me hyper aware of the beauty of what many consider mundane, or even disgusting. Seeing a woman drag on a cigarette can literally turn my day around, from average to extraordinary.
But it has always been my little secret -at least in the real world, where I am a non-smoker.
I was at a party the other day when a girl I’d not seen for a while came up to me and asked:
“Have you got a light?… Oh of course not, you’ve always been a good little boy”.
I make my excuses to hang with the smokers but I’m not one of them.
Having a place online to share my appreciation of smoking women has been a lot of fun over the years and I love the online friends I’ve made who know the intricate details of smoking brands and the lingo of smoking.
We know them and love them all.
In Real Life
It’s not that I’m a raging Anti-Smoker in real life. I’ve gradually introduced elements of my fetish to my friends. I’ve openly admitted that I think smoking is ‘cool’, even if I say it in a jokey way. And yes you’ll find me outside at most parties, bathing myself in second-hand smoke.
But I’ve not had a smoking girlfriend….until now.
Let me just say publicly that she’s amazing. And I can’t believe my luck. But I need to get over my issues with being identified as dating a smoker.
I know that dating a smoker does not automatically tell the world that I have a smoking fetish…but it kind of does….
And I feel like my attraction to smoking women is going to be made public to my friends.
By dating a smoker I’m living the dream, but its weird waking up in the real world with a smoker on my arm.
I KNOW I’M BEING AN IDIOT SO PLEASE TELL ME TO GROW UP AND DEAL WITH IT.